Do you ever just not know who you are?

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Do you ever just not know who you are?

Or what you want?

I used to feel like this.

I would take on the persona of whomever I was with at any given moment.

Their accent, hobbies, way of being.

Friend visiting from NYC meant pulling off my best Carrie Bradshaw and drinking cosmopolitans!

And you know what?

It wasn’t necessarily an issue at the time.

I was living a really intense, fun life.

It looked amazing on paper.

Until I realised I didn’t know what I actually wanted.

Or liked.

I looked back and realised within the same week I said a pool party at a villa in Spain and hiking in Vietnam are what I want to do within the 2 weeks off I had booked.

And let’s be honest – there’s nothing wrong with any of those…

They are just very, VERY different.

In my case social pressure to conform took me away from really being just…me.

So how do I now know I would choose hiking and beers over pool party and cocktails?

I got a coach and I made time – for me.

It was just me.

I found out what my values were – and quickly realised how my life wasn’t really aligned with those.

And finally – I went on a trip.
Just for me. I had to get away.

Trip that not only gave me ME TIME but also showed me how incredibly empowering it is…

To trust your intuition.

All those moments when I had to make a decision and I was alone…

I had no choice but to give myself permission to listen to my own self and ask:

Deep down, does it feel like a right thing to do?

And with every decision made, I would strengthen this relationship with myself…

But also discover ME a little bit more.

What I liked, what I didn’t.

To the point that on my way back home I would feel like there wasn’t anything I couldn’t do.

Fast forward a few years – I still believe in magic and empowerment that come with exploring the world by yourself.

Despite living an authentic life I’m really happy with – those solo trips still give me this extra boost of self love, courage and excitement to create more.

And whilst I know it doesn’t have to be a trip that gives you this space to explore YOU – it just works for me.

The funny thing?

I still love having my Carrie Bradshaw nights!

And you could probably see me at a pool party once in a blue moon,too!

The difference is – I’m now 100% clear on who I am at my core, what I want to create and what makes me happy.

And I wouldn’t trade this clarity and confidence that comes with it for anything in the world.


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January 2022