Do you sometimes feel like you’re not a nice, good person?
And when that happens, you feel guilty and embarrassed and you push it all down, distract yourself and do what you can to not think about it…
Because you want to be a nice person – one who could never think ‘such things’
It’s the ‘oh no’ when you see pictures of your friend announcing impressive weight loss while you’re sitting there eating a burger…and then immediately clicking the ‘like’ button.
It’s the voice that tells you not to waste your time 10 minutes into your first date but you can’t imagine upsetting your date (not what nice people do,is it!) so you carry on dating them for weeks hoping they will eventually be the ones saying it’s time to part ways.
It’s the ‘absolutely not’ that you think but ‘of course I can’ that comes out instead…and that feeling of embarrassment that follows.
It’s when you find yourself tired of being a ‘perfect’ and responsible:
And all you want is a break, pizza and nobody talking to you…
But then you feel guilty.
Because it isn’t the right thing to do…not in the world of nice people.
So you bury your ‘pizza and alone time’ thoughts deep inside and you find the strength to go back to your cage of excessive niceness and doing ‘the right thing’
The thing is – eventually, it all starts feeling very heavy.
Kind of makes sense, you can’t spend years silencing and rejecting your ‘not nice’ voice along with all those thoughts without any consequences.
It felt really heavy for me.
You know what helped?
Finally embracing that voice.
Acknowledging and accepting it.
And as a consequence- being ok with the fact I’m not a perfect, nice person.
That sometimes I’m selfish, self-centred and I need a break.
The best thing?
You feel so much lighter.
So much more energised and powerful and somehow – you like yourself so much more.
So next time you find yourself silencing this voice coming up with things that a nice person could never do, say or think…
Embrace it without judgement.
Go for a walk and acknowledge those thoughts, feelings and ideas- and you’ll see as crazy as some of them may seem, most of them have a positive intention behind them.
They’re there for a reason.
They may want you to find the strength to put down the burger and pick up something more nutritious, so you can be healthier and happier overall.
They may want you to save your time and energy for dates with someone better suited to you.
They may want you to finally start prioritising yourself and your own needs, instead of constantly putting others first.
And lastly, they may just signal to you how tired you are and how much you need a break.
And if you listen to them, you may see there IS something about them.
And even though you may not feel nice, good or perfect…
You’re likely to feel so much more human.
So much more aligned with who you really are.
And that itself is a superpower.
Because nothing beats feeling at peace with who you are…even in the world of those nice people always wanting to do the right thing:-)