‘How come you weren’t scared?!’
That’s the question I got asked a lot within the last 48 hours.
Most of you have seen the article Fabulous magazine wrote about my 2020 – how the year started from my cancer diagnosis and finished on me happily watching my bump get bigger and bigger
I got a lot of messages from strangers and a lot of those assumed I picked myself up so many times this year…because I wasn’t scared.
Wrong – I was very scared.
I was scared when they diagnosed my cancer.
Scared when I realised how alone I was in all of it.
Scared when I solo moved into my new apartment without any ability to connect with my mum (or anyone) because there was no reception or internet
Scared when I was told I may struggle having family of my own
And when I made a decision to focus on Andy only and be fully vulnerable with him.
Scared when I started therapy and realised I had to face my unresolved past, yet again, in order to keep going
And I was very scared when I found out I was pregnant – I didn’t know how and if I even could make it all happen.
All of it in between lockdowns…because hello covid19 reality.
I was scared this year more than I have probably ever been before in my life.
And fair enough – I could have chosen differently.
I could have never found the courage to keep going.
I could have decided to lock myself in my comfort zone and stay there for months.
And if I did, chances are I wouldn’t have gone through the most memorable dates, house moves, hours of work on myself annnd I most certainly wouldn’t have been pregnant.
Can you imagine?!
Because I can’t.
Courage does not mean you’re not scared.
Courage does not equal absence of fear.
Courage is this ability to respond to fear and keep going regardless of feeling scared.
And finding courage throughout 2020 is precisely what made me get to where I am right now.
In fact, I believe courage is such an important component of creating a fulfilled life, I’ve put together a masterclass on how to find courage and create a fulfilled life that will take place on 17th January – if you’re interested, just comment below or send me a DM x
(On another note, I love how my child has already made it to a national paper 12 weeks scan right here!)