‘Why do I always end up dating jerks?!’

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‘Why do I always end up dating jerks?!’

Hands up who said it or heard it at least once!

You would be surprised how many women tell me they have great careers, supportive friends, hobbies, fabulous holidays…

…but they can’t find a partner that makes them happy and treats them right.

You know what I tell them?

‘I think you’re making it happen’


Because we attract what we think we deserve…

…and this often stems from our childhood experiences.

If your dad wasn’t giving you love and care in your childhood….

You’re likely to attract partners who are emotionally unavailable.

If you constantly felt like you weren’t good or pretty enough when you were young…

You’re likely to attract a partner who will make you feel like you’re not enough.

…because that’s what you know and the pain that you know is more comfortable than the pain that’s unknown.

So no matter how unhappy the relationship you are in is making you feel, you are in it, because you’re still hoping to get what you never did as a child.

And the pattern repeats itself every time you’re back on the dating scene.


Because we go for relationships that validate what we believe about ourselves.

So what can be done about it?

• Recognise the pattern.
Those jerks – what do they all have in common? How did they all make you feel?

• Believe you deserve it.
No relationship with someone else can ever compensate for secretly believing you don’t deserve it.

• Own it.
All those wrong partners – there wasn’t anyone else – YOU attracted them and brought them into your life….because that’s what you deep down believed you deserved.

So what am I trying to say?

• Focus on yourself first.

• Remove dating apps and go on a date with yourself.

• Take as much time as you need working on believing you ARE enough and you ARE worthy of love and this magical relationship you’ve always wanted.

Once you truly believe you’re worthy of the love you deserve, you’ll attract a partner who truly deserves you.

…and I can guarantee you that one probably isn’t going to be a jerk! ?

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January 2022