You know what I’m not so good at?
And fineee…a ton of other things,too!?
Self-compassion always just seemed pretty awkward…
Because aren’t we supposed to learn how to be kind to OTHERS?
Given this relationship-driven world we live in…
It was always about being kind, caring and understanding towards other people.
But nobody really taught us about the importance of the relationship we have with ourselves.
I would sit in sessions with my clients inviting them to look at their own problems and failures through different lenses by asking questions like:
‘What would you say to your best friend in this situation?’
…just to then terribly self-criticise myself for messing something up an hour later.
I would encourage others to be kind and understanding to themselves….
But I would never do the same to myself.
Because wasn’t self-criticism supposed to motivate me to be better?
I don’t think it ever did.
It would stress me out and make me eat jars of Nutella,that’s for sure.
Whilst when I started practising self-compassion – it started bringing me to this happy place where I realised that…
I’m not alone.
That others mess up too and they have their lows…and it’s okay.
So now when something doesn’t go the way I wanted it to…
I don’t beat myself up anymore.
I choose to be my own best friend and I say to myself exactly what I would to somebody I love.
• That messing things up is human
• That messing things up is always a lesson
• That we will celebrate next time when I succeed
And it makes all the difference in the world.
Which is why I’m trying to be better at it.
So the questions is:
What do you say to yourself when you mess up?
Are you kind and understanding?
Give it a try.
…you may realise it’s healthier and more motivating than this inner critic you’re used to.